“We eat the way we eat because we are afraid to feel what we feel.”
[Geneen Roth]
Sometimes when we tap on one thing, another focus emerges unexpectedly (that’s a good thing!)…
When I had this experience, I was a brand, brand-new practitioner ‘apprentice’ in Rob Nelson’s Tapping the Matrix Academy. So I had many (still have some) questions and doubts about whether I’ll be successful, whether I’ll find enough clients, whether I’ll attract enough abundance. You know, beginner questions. So, here’s what I wrote as I was experiencing this transformation:
I’m blessed to regularly swap tapping sessions with the amazing Tamika Wells (well-deserved shout-out to a truly gifted practitioner). She suggested the Morphic Field Manifestation practice might be helpful for me. I’m on day 17 of my first 21 day process. It’s been nothing short of miraculous for me.
Anyway, my focus using this technique is on ‘trusting my abundance.’ And here’s a slice of what that trust has opened up in me. This morning, I was struggling with feeling like I have (metaphorically speaking) one foot on the gas pedal and one foot on the brakes, at the same time.
I wanted to move forward, but felt some resistance to doing so. Resistance has been very familiar to me throughout my life. My parents called me stubborn. And though I’ve reframed it as persistence, there have still been emotional triggers attached to it for me.
Resistance shows up (now I know I’m onto something…)
Anyway, in the middle of my morphic field manifestation practice today, I started feeling this ‘stop-go’ again. So I switched tack and asked my guides to show me the experience where this first showed up for me.
Bam.
I saw myself at age maybe 18 months, sitting in my tenda and my mom was feeding me lunch. Peas and potatoes, and I was really not liking those peas. My mom was overwhelmed, frustrated and trying to make me eat the peas. I was feeling stressed out by her frustration, thinking it was my fault and wanting to ‘fix it.’ But also not wanting to eat those damn peas.
Hacking Reality to tap on my Younger Self
I went into the memory and tapped on my Younger Self’s feelings. She was in a no-win situation. If she pleased her mom by eating those peas, she wouldn’t feel happy, coz those peas were definitely not tasting good. If she listened to what her body was saying (NO PEAS!), her mom would be frustrated and blaming her. It seemed an either-or stalemate.
I tapped on her feelings and got her to zero emotional triggers. But what to do about a different kind of solution that honoured them both?
My Younger Self agreed to me unfreezing mom and tapping on her. My mom said, understandably, that she was feeling totally frustrated and overwhelmed… like a bad mother. (Did I mention she wasn’t even 20 yet and already had 2 kids under 3? Yikes.)
Hmm, that leads to tapping on my mom…
She told me miserably that she was expecting a 3rd child (my younger sister) and she didn’t know how she was gonna cope. Totally understandable, right? So I tapped on her emotional reactivity.
Then I told her what a wonderful mom she grew into for me. How watching her persevere when times were tough and she didn’t know what to do, but she just kept trying her best, had been a powerful life lesson for me in my own life. Tears flowed as I told her that she was the best mom I could have asked for. Not because she always knew what to do. Rather, because she didn’t and she courageously persevered anyway.
How to help my mom and me?
That was really helpful for her. But what to do about her being so young and feeling isolated as a teen parent? Enter the Good Parenting Star.
This Good Parenting Star goes into the parent’s heart. It connects the parent to their own rich inner resources and guides, to their higher self. I explained that she could trust the wisdom of her Parenting Star, even when it didn’t align with what her mother, or Auntie Gerda or Dr. Spock told her she should be doing as a ‘good’ parent.
In a sense, a Parenting Star is like an inner GPS (it’s actually a piece of our own personal starlight/our soul that focuses on good parenting practices). It locates the best path forward and can recalibrate if/when a parent gets off-track. It’s a reliable guide, that’s always available with infinite wisdom and trustworthy guidance. Did she want one? Uh, YES!!
‘Downloading’ the Good Parenting Star
So she took it out of the velvet box and put it in her heart. Then I asked her, what was her own Good Parenting Star suggesting about the current challenge in feeding my Younger Self her lunch? She closed her eyes, then said, wonderingly, that she didn’t need to force her children to eat food they didn’t like. She could instead teach them that there are so many wonderful tastes to try, and it’s good to try lots. Sometimes our tastes change. She’d also been worried about wasting food (‘coz there wasn’t extra money in my family when I was a child). But she saw herself introducing small amounts of what everyone else was eating. If my Younger Self didn’t like it, she could just feed it to the cat or dog and try it again later.
Next Steps…
Then, I saw her feeling relaxed and trying this with both my Younger Self and my older sister. We were having fun trying new foods. And eating was relaxing and playful, not stressful. My mom was feeling relieved and happy with her new Good Parenting Star, excited about opportunities to try it out. She felt better resourced and so did I (maybe my sister too). I re-imprinted this as my new story.
Impact on my current eating habits in my current life…
As a result, I feel more flexible and less driven with my food choices – I feel less controlled by emotional eating now. And I can have fun eating again. Mmmm, the delicious taste of freedom from old emotional limitations!!
“Most of us spend our lives protecting ourselves from losses that have already happened.”
[Geneen Roth]
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