How can we use EFT as a way of tapping into healing… through radical self-love?
“Healing is not breaking free from anything.
Healing is remembering something you’ve forgotten:
Maybe you have a diagnosis and have forgotten that you are still whole, loved, innocent, and not at fault.
Maybe you are anxious and have forgotten that you are still perfect, lovable, and worthy of miracles.
Maybe you are easily irritated and have forgotten that you still deserve forgiveness, grace, and second chances.
Maybe, healing is remembering.”
Jackie Viramontez, Master EFT teacher
When I read Jackie’s quote (as part of a longer blog – I’ve included the link to it at the end of this post, in case you want to read it in its entirety), I just knew I needed to blog about this.
A Rose by any other name?
Maybe we’ll begin by looking at what the word ‘healing’ usually conjures up.
In religion, we often see healing as needing an intermediary, someone who intercedes on our behalf. This is usually someone outside of us, who has some ‘greater power’ than we do, who has the power to heal us. In many religions, we are some version of ‘sinners’ who require intervention from a priest, or other religious figure.
In our current climate, ‘healing’ is often synonymous with making necessary changes. We think we need to improve, well, something that’s broken in us, or not working the way it’s supposed to.
But these ways of generalized, homogenized beliefs about healing miss the point (imo), as Jackie so aptly points out.
They presume that, like a toaster or other appliance, we are somehow broken, and in need of repair.
But once we begin to travel down that path, we can become sucked into the vortex of self-help books, YouTube videos and expensive programs that all promise to somehow ‘cure’ us, or ‘heal’ us: from the outside in.
Outer vs Inner Healing
Many people chase this outer version of healing for a long time. And, in case you haven’t noticed, sadly there are numerous shysters and snake-oil salesmen who are only too willing to take advantage of this human vulnerability.
Personally, I see a number of difficulties with this. For one thing, I feel most reluctant to allow someone else to tell me what to do, as though they’re the ‘expert’ and I’m the broken bit looking for salvation from something that’s presumed to be broken in me.
Because no one knows me better than me.
That’s why, when I offer to work with others, it’s with the understanding that you know you best. You’re the expert on you.
I just bring the tools to support you on your journey. And I have an ‘outsider’ perspective (because sometimes we all get lost ‘inside’ the forest, not being able to see the forest and the way out for all the surrounding trees).
“There’s no place like Home”
When Dorothy recognizes this at the end of The Wizard of Oz, she is recognizing something important for all of us.
But what if Home really isn’t an outer place.
What if we carry our ‘Home’ with us, in our physical vessel. And in this Home, what if we each have everything we need on our Earth journey already inside us.
Sometimes our old stories of pain and suffering just don’t allow us to see what is always there. But what if we all have our own solutions to our own dilemmas. Inside us.
We are not broken or damaged. We don’t need healing by/from someone else. And in any case, we’re not likely to find it ‘out there,’ if we haven’t first found it ‘in here.’
“As within, so without”
If you’re not able to see it/own it inside you, you’re not likely to find it ‘out there.’
This has everything to do with us focusing on re-membering – on re-connecting to our own inner resources.
And for me at least, sometimes working together with a tapping practitioner is also about reducing my perceived sense of aloneness. In this world dominated by separation consciousness, it’s only too easy to feel alienated and alone.
So, when two souls come together in a tapping session, we create a bigger container for both of us.
Set-up Statement: Radical Self-Love
Together, inside that bigger field, we begin tapping with that powerful initial set-up statement: “Even though I feel x, I still love and accept myself.”
We put the challenge or limitation we are experiencing right inside the container of self-love, self-acceptance and self-forgiveness (to the best of our ability – no one’s perfect and these aspects are a journey not a destination).
Even before we begin tapping on our acupressure points, this first step offers us a chance to reconnect with something precious that we may have forgotten.
When we say that setup statement, we are owning that we love and accept ourselves, just as we are. Including with the current life challenge.
Make no mistake, this is a radical step, even though it may seem like a simple one.
Self love and self acceptance are an ‘inside job.’
It begins with our willingness to radically love ourselves first. But not because we’re broken. Rather, it’s because we deserve to be loved and accepted. Even if/when we haven’t experienced that in our relationships with others.
It starts with us, stepping into experiencing radically loving and accepting ourselves, just as we are. Imperfect ‘bits’ and all.
Being human is such a messy business. No one’s perfect, though I expect most if not all of us have moments when we’d love that.
We don’t need to look outside ourselves for healing by/from others. And we can grow beyond the broken-self belief . We can learn to trust our inner resources.
Because the truth is, we actually have everything we need inside us. Our conditioning as young children may have, and likely did, teach us otherwise.
But we can begin to reclaim this, step by step, with tapping. The first step is putting whatever we’re feeling emotional reactivity about inside our own willingness to radically love and accept ourselves as we are, even with that emotional reactivity.
And in so doing, we reclaim our connection to our own sacred light. To the immensity of our soul, who’s living inside this tiny human experience of this human journey here on Schoolhouse Earth.
To me, this is true freedom. And it reflects our right to stand in our own unique authenticity, creatively sharing ourselves – all of us – with our world.
Tapping helps us all step into our greater authentic being-ness, just as we are.
And it’s all available to all of us, at the tip of our fingers.
So what is healing?
What if it’s:
“when you stop living as a slave to the symptoms, patterns, and memories that don’t support you.”
Jackie Viramontez
And what if healing is beginning to live life as the multidimensional you, facing your challenges and the inevitable hurdles in life, from a place of loving and appreciating you and the journey you’re on.
Tapping can help you internalize this, to learn to live from your unique inside out, rather than from someone else’s outside in.
Here’s the link to Jackie’s original post, in case you want more reflections about this: https://jackieviramontez.com/blog/can-you-fully-heal-from-childhood-trauma
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