Struggling with overwhelm due to hearing ‘sensitivity’? Of the many variations of sensory-based forms of neurodiversity, misophonia is surely one. How do I know this? Because I’ve struggled with it across my lifetime, in various ways. But before we go there, let’s look at what it is first.
What is Misophonia?
“Misophonia is a sound intolerance disorder characterized by intense negative emotional and physiological responses to specific, quite ordinary sounds. The sounds that trigger such reactions are often commonplace noises such as chewing, breathing, or keyboard typing.” [1] Or, in my case, my cat meowing loudly.
One study found that at the severe end of misophonia, it is correlated with higher levels of stress, both in general as well as with traumatic stress. [2]
At the milder end of the misophonia spectrum (where I usually am), it can still be extremely unpleasant to live with. Ever see a kid with their hands clapped in agony over their ears? Their stress/distress is easily apparent.
That’s how I felt after adopting a very sweet and loving older kitten. He also happens to have quite a strident voice. It’s been a year and a half of heightened stress for me. I never know when he’s going to start ‘talking.’ Sometimes he doesn’t stop (cats – they definitely go their own way), even when I pick him up and cuddle him. Or when I try to ignore him (to give him more ‘positive’ attention when he’s being quiet). He seems healthy – it’s more just that he happens to have a loud voice.
The sound of his voice feels like an ice pick being drilled into and through my brain. It’s not pleasant. Nor is it easy to relax. My whole body goes into hyper-alert mode, with adrenaline rushing through my body. My reactivity feels beyond my conscious control.
I thought it was ‘just me’
Ok, I know I’m kinda quirky and ‘different.’ So, I just thought my reactivity was part of that. I had no idea that my extreme reaction to my cat’s voice actually had a name.
Then my tapping teacher told us a story about his daughter having ‘misophonia’ about the sound of someone (him) eating. I still didn’t connect her reaction to my weird one about my cat crying. It took a while for that penny to drop.
Finally, I came across a study that was done on misophonia, and thought of my teacher’s daughter. He had tapped on her and had resolved her misophonia. So the article piqued my interest.
Still no connection to me yet…
When I read the article, there was a Misophonia questionnaire that Duke University had developed. [3]
And when I read the questionnaire (see under Resources), that’s when I had a lightbulb moment! I read all the examples in the questionnaire. And suddenly, I saw all the ways my sensitivity to sound has impacted on my life. And on my stress level. It was not just my cat’s voice.
So maybe this is just me (but I doubt it). I’m at the milder end of this misophonia spectrum. Maybe that makes it harder to ‘diagnose’ it, as something beyond mere quirkiness. I wonder how many people live (like I did) with the stress of misophonia, without even recognizing it?
The power of understanding
It’s hard to find solutions when we can’t even pinpoint a problem that needs a solution. I’m not a huge proponent of formal diagnosis and labeling people. (That’s another whole conversation).
But it’s crucial to at least be able to understand our ‘problems,’ to be able to address them. We need to at least recognize the territory we’re traveling through. Then we can focus on finding solutions to reduce our stress load.
Tapping on misophonia
Like I said, my first encounter with the term ‘misophonia’ was during a training session on tapping. My teacher’s daughter had misophonia. She had been highly reactive to sitting in the same room with him while he was quietly eating a sandwich.
She was having a major reaction.
Notice how ridiculous that may seem from an ‘outsider’ perspective. The level of reactivity seems totally out of proportion to the situation.
And that’s part of the problem. Other people may not be at all supportive to the person struggling with misophonia. Instead, others may judge, criticize, blame, ridicule, be impatient or otherwise react in non-supportive ways.
Those reactions from others will all be part of what tapping can help with. Previous unhelpful reactions that the person has experienced become internalized. Over time, with repetition, they become part of the person’s beliefs, unconscious thoughts and feelings about themselves.
These are all aspects that tapping can help neutralize and clear. Efficiently and easily. In my teacher’s daughter’s situation, it took one session of tapping.
If you’ve lived with misophonia beyond your childhood, it may take a bit longer. You may have more layers of thoughts, beliefs and feelings that have been embedded and reinforced over your lifetime. But clearing it is definitely still possible.
My experience with tapping on misophonia
I began tapping on my intense sensitivity to my cat’s voice long before I understood I had misophonia. It was either tap or rehome my sweet kitty! (See what I mean? What an extreme choice!)
And the tapping helped a bit.
But I really still didn’t understand the scope of the ‘problem’ – all the thoughts, beliefs and feelings connected to it. All of those are like scaffolding, that holds the ‘problem’ in place.
So, once I understood that it wasn’t ‘just’ my cat’s voice, I could really begin to dive in.
Where/how I began
Since there’s a physiological component to misophonia, I began by tapping on my physical reactions. Then I tapped on my emotions. That led to my tapping on my thoughts… thoughts (my projections) about my cat. And thoughts about me – my memories from my past experiences. I was surprised by how many connections I discovered.
That tapping then inevitably led to my beliefs. Some of these had generalized from my other experiences with feeling stressed/anxious/overwhelmed by sound.
For example, I had already connected my stress about listening to my cat with having listened to my babies crying. As a young mom ‘then,’ there were definitely similarities with my ‘now.’ This included my feeling stressed by not understanding their needs. Feeling anxious about being a ‘good mom.’ Feeling overwhelmed by my ‘not-knowing.’
With tapping, one thing leads to another. It’s kinda like peeling away the layers of an onion. Eventually, we find our way to the center, where the reactivity has finally been neutralized. And then, life gets easier. Less stressful. More enjoyable.
One of the really wonderful things about tapping is that it works regardless of age. If you know a child who struggles with ‘over-reactivity’ to sound, you can teach them to tap. It’s a wonderful emotional management skill that can save them ongoing struggles with stress/distress/overwhelm (and therapy bills later).
But tapping also works with adolescents, young adults, middle-aged folks and elders. Not because it’s one-size-fits-all. Rather because what Gary Craig (EFT’s founder) said seems to be true…
“The cause of all negative emotions is a disruption
in the body’s energy system.”
When applied to your own uniquely individual circumstances, tapping can release you from patterns of suffering. Even when the ‘disruption’ is focused on misophonia. And this can then allow you to step into your greater potential. How great is that?
Resources –
